I just came out of Top Gun: Maverick and it is easily the best film I have seen this year, if not the best film in the past 5 years. It is just spectacular. So if you have not seen it, go watch it now. It was so good that I can’t wait to rewatch it this weekend. In the meantime, I am biding my time by watching tons of cast interviews online.

As I watch interviews over and over, I can’t help but notice just how charismatic Tom Cruise is. The man is obviously a superstar but you can tell he just radiates confidence and charisma wherever he goes. And what is his secret?

The “mirroring” technique.

This technique is all about engaging with people in a way that ultimately “mirrors” what you yourself want to see.

Go in front of a mirror. You have done this routine thousands of times. What do you see? Are you happy with what you see? The mirror reflects back what you see. What you see is what you get. If you smile, you see a smile. If you frown, you will see a frown.

Likewise, in many human interactions, what you yourself SHOW is often “mirrored” back by the other person.

I want you to think, how often has someone approached you with a smile and a warm handshake and you have countered with disgust and anger? Probably never right? Unless you hated that person from the start. No, you probably appreciated it and almost took to liking the person already because of the warmth they show at first. As a result, you “mirror” this person by radiating warmth by returning a smile as well.

Now, think of the polar opposite. Recall the last time someone approached you without a smile, with hunched shoulders, and you could barely hear their voice. How did you react to them? Probably a little guarded and not as enthusiastic to see them. In effect, you yourself have “mirrored” the same energy they themselves have given off.

In all of these interviews I have watched, Tom Cruise always greets every cast member and every interviewer with a radiant smile and enthusiastic approach. In return, the other members all “mirror” back that same energy so much so that you feel as if it’s two buddies catching up.

People “mirror” the energy you are willing to radiate. You choose to be warm and kind and people most likely will do the same. If you act guarded and unapproachable, do not expect people to approach you any differently.

Charisma is an art that can be mastered. All it entails is being able to make the person as comfortable as possible in your presence and “mirroring” is the fastest way to do this.

So the next time you are meeting someone new? Think about the positive energy that you want “mirrored” back at you and then proceed to walk in and flash a smile at them. 99% of the time, they will radiate that same energy back to you.

Cre: reddit