Emma Watson is opening up about a challenging time in her life. In an interview with Financial Times, Watson, who hasn’t starred in a movie since 2018’s Little Women, reveals she “wasn’t very happy” when she was working as an actress.

“I think I felt a bit caged,” Watson, 33, explains. “The thing I found really hard was that I had to go out and sell something that I really didn’t have very much control over. To stand in front of a film and have every journalist be able to say, ‘How does this align with your viewpoint?’ It was very difficult to have to be the face and the spokesperson for things where I didn’t get to be involved in the process.”

“I was held accountable in a way that I began to find really frustrating, because I didn’t have a voice, I didn’t have a say,” she continues. “And I started to realize that I only wanted to stand in front of things where if someone was going to give me flak about it, I could say, in a way that didn’t make me hate myself, ‘Yes, I screwed up, it was my decision, I should have done better.'”

Even so, Watson tells the outlet that she will “absolutely” return to acting, beginning with a movie that’s scheduled to begin shooting early next year.

“I’m happy to sit and wait for the next right thing. I love what I do. It’s finding a way to do it where I don’t have to fracture myself into different faces and people,” she explains. “And I just don’t want to switch into robot mode anymore.”

When she was busy with Harry Potter and other projects, Watson didn’t often get to return to her family’s vineyard, the site where they make Renais, their recently launched gin. 

“There was definitely a gap when Alex took more of a role here,” Watson says of her younger brother, the founder of the gin brand. “But now that I’m not making films every year there’s a bit more time to play with. For me, getting involved with the creative side of the gin has been fun because I have a voice and I can bring everything that I’ve learnt to help. Alex is the expert on gin, and dad is the expert on wine, but it’s really nice to be asked to be involved.”

For the actress, returning to France with her brother and father, Chris Watson, allows her to enjoy the “culture here of the harvest.”

“I like coming together with everyone,” she explains. “I like the rituals around it and the history and the connection with the people here. For me it’s about family and community and it makes me feel grounded that there’s somewhere I can come back to, year after year after year.”